The Last Road (1)

There is blood on my hands. Literally. Dark red blood, warm and dense. I had never thought it would be like this. I stare dumb at it, at how it flows in my hands, how it feels, how it reflects the pale-dim light. And slowly, I start to loose the senses. My blood. My precious blood.

Him. He was the cause of all this. A curse to the Empire. Medarian Kador, second nephew of Emperor Heideran the Seventh, and a member of the Emperor’s Family bureau. I should have been weary of him since the very beginning. Usually, such a distant family of the Emperor wouldn’t have followed him into the Emperor’s Family. Wouldn’t have left the nice and promising place he had in the Kador family. Wouldn’t have left besides the possibilities for power it offered.
But that brat... that up bringer... that usurper. He had everything planned all the way since the beginning. All tied up nicely. That young bastard. The malcontent rallied to his banner. The ones without powered flocked to his side. The young and manipulable roared to his call.
Slowly, he had created an army of shadows and power. He proclaimed himself a true Amarr, a true loyal Holder, and started to stir up conflict inside the Emperor’s Family, and even against some Holders in the Heir families.
And I, a veteran politic, had failed to see how he had manipulated the Family before it was too late.

The Emperor’s Family. Heh. Not a family at all, is it? My back hurts. A stone or something is right in the wrong place. It’s strange that I feel that a lot more than the stab on my stomach. My hands have tried to keep the blood inside... but it just won’t obey me. In the end, nothing seems to obey me anymore.
Blood drops on the grass, forming a small pool, and my numbness grows steadily. I only feel cold now; a growing cold that I know will continue increasing until it takes everything away. Like a freezing nova, blowing up in the middle of my chest.
All my life I have been taught about this moment. About the moment God would finally call me to his side, a life of duty and honour complete. I am not ready. I am not ready! There is so much to do, so many people to see! My son! My life, don’t take away my life!

True, my life, I haven’t introduced myself yet. Death. My head spins and I can’t focus too much at all, I even feel dizzy already. But... anyway; my name is Ictus Ardishapur, and I too am member of the Emperor’s Family, though my own emblem now is covered in red blood. I come from a prestige lineage inside the Emperor’s Family, since my great-great-grandfather was Emperor Ictus the Joust’s son. To him I owe my name. My lineage has always been proud of its origin and we have always been a pillar in the Emperor’s Family Bureau.
God, I have achieved so many things myself! I had difficult moments too, but I always prevailed. I went on, I worked, I suffered, and succeeded. I had triumphed. It took me my sweat, and became reason of my pride for I had prevailed! But now, this brat, this damned usurper had decided he didn’t want to play with the rules of the Court, and had broken the deck. Damn him! If I could just succeed now… if this was just another war of words and not a matter of the body...
I am too old. Too old. My body won’t answer anymore.

Indeed, it doesn’t. I attempt to move my hands from above my stomach, or to push with my legs, and nothing happens. I try to cry out, but all I do is spit the blood that already is flooding my insides. Even the light of the twin moons is becoming harder to perceive. The entire world around me is disappearing.
I concentrate.
I can still make up the hum of the trees, the pond’s waves, and a frog somewhere that leaps into those waters. I know there must be a soft breeze somewhere, but I can’t feel how it moves my short hairs anymore, like I can’t hear how it moves the grass of my estate’s park. Elohorim, the soft wind from the north and brings the humidity so needed for our crops. I remember teaching my son what that wind did, how it was called, why it existed. My small Errock: a man by his own right now, but always just a boy for me. A formidable man. If you could only know how I love and respect you, how proud I am of your career in the Navy, even though I have always opposed to it. If you could just know how it feels to see death in the face and now you are loosing everything.
Because I did look death in the eye, just a short while ago.

Death was just a man, slender and agile, though probably handsome and elegant. He had approached me while I was by the pond, as every night, dictating into my diary and watching the fish run and the twin moons dance in the sky. He was just another diplomatic ambassador or something like that, or so his false credentials had convinced my estate’s security measures. He came with a message, a reproduction clear that would disappear in thin air once finished.
-Old fool, your time has come. The Empire needs a change, and the Empire shall have it. I am the herald of that change, God has chosen me. No more of your corrupt policies, no more enclosure. By the time the next Emperor arises, a new Empire will be waiting for him.-
With a slow and elegant manner, he took a ritual dagger from somewhere in his robes. It was golden, with a small curb, and some ritual signs on its blade. It would have been beautiful if it had been exposed in any museum, but was terrible in the tranquil night. I was stuck still.
Indeed, fear had me completely paralyzed. I could only see how he closed the distance and embraced me with his left arm, while the right one stuck the dagger inside my stomach. Fire, it was like a flaming torch, destroying everything in its advance, and taking my life with it as it went back outside.
-I’m sorry- he said, and his small voice showed the truth in his words-. It was just a mission. I really respect your work inside the Emperor’s Family, but business is business. If I hadn’t taken it, another would. I know that a dagger in the liver is painful, but it was specified in the contract. I’m truly sorry.-
Softly, gently, he placed me on the grass and disappeared, leaving me alone in the night, with a small amount of blood continuingly growing between my hands.

My clothes are drenched in blood already, but I have completed all that’s left for me. Some could say I should have Faith in God in moments like this, and wait for something to come my way and save me. I know it won’t work at all. [[RECORDING STOPPED AS MENTAL FUNCTION IS NOT CLEAR ENOUGH TO RECORD. RECORDING RESTARTED 0,02 SECONDS LATER]]
I.... I... it’s hard to breathe. I know help won’t come. They don’t expect me... expect me back for quite a while, more than I have left. God’s paths are mysterious... I’ll... find out soon enough, I guess.[[RECORDING STOPPED. MENTAL FUNCTIONS UNSTABLE. RECORDING RETAKEN 0,04 SECONDS LATER]]
I loose control of my own mind. I loose it. But everything is ready, I guess. And still, I can’t let go! There must be something to do, something to keep me alive! Shout! Damn voice, shout!... Blood all over my face. Even more. It’s late. It’s late. I’m tired. Very tired.[[MENTAL FUNCTIONS STOPPED. RESTARTED 1,2 SECONDS LATER]]
Don’t die yet! There’s one last... thing! Diary, send yourself to... to Lord Metris... when session is closed.[[ORDER ACCEPTED]]. Ahh... there... I can’t see the moons. Not at all. I need to rest. All is alright. All is alright.[[HOST MENTAL FUNCTIONS STOPPED. DIARY SENT 1,5 SECONDS LATER. SESSION CLOSED]]