Monologue With God: the Blade that cuts Souls

I have seen people Fall. From the mightiest heights, they fell so hard that the ground shook with their impact. Priests, Holders, peasants... all corrupted by the stentch of foulness. I have seen them wrestle against it, only to fall in the end, incapable of resisting the pressure. Even the most pure and bright, the lights that guide us all here, Fall into the Darkness. Why, my Lord, why?

The man shivered in his place, almost unperceptible, but fully. Beneath the robes, his whole body was shaking deeply. The pale golden light of the chapel bathed him fully, and the twisting fires of the candles seemed to wrap him like a lovers hands. And still, he was almost crying.
I have done as You asked, and yet all I see is darkness before me and behind. Men have fought and died at Your orders, and still nothing changes. We have endured, sacrificed all we are to the altar of Your greatness, and still You look at us and remain silent. You can't even seem to be capable of choosing an Emperor, when we need him the most!
For a moment, his outburst seemed to surprise him and he became silent. But his mind couldn't remain silent for long, and quickly he retook his monologue.
Why didn't You create us sooner? A hundred, or a thousand years ago! When we would have time to do what needs to be done... It's ironic, isn't it? We, inmortals, are short in time. But whatever we do, we end up facing the darkness of the future, of a future that only has war in its horizon. A war like none have been in this century of bloodspilling that has gone by. And You leave us without our guide... to the darkness. Why?
His eyes were fiery, and he seemed to demand something from the golden symbol at the head of the Church. But if God was listening to him at all, he certainly didn't seem willing to answer.
Why do You put us through Trial after Trial? We offered everything to You, and You only asked for more. Blood... servitude... life... soul... the whole Empire... What do You care about them? Do You even remember Us? Does it mean anything to You at all that we continue to work to advance in Your path, against all the enemies that exist inside and outside? Do You even remember the names of the three hundred and fourty six people lost in my last ship, that was destroyed at Your service? Do You want me to name them all to You? Do You?
Again, rage boiled inside him like a fiery pit, like the depths of hell or the heights of a volcano... or the ravaging nova that had been his last ship, destroying a good part of the few escape pods that had managed to make it out in time from it. His own pod had been destroyed too, but not by the ship's explosion, it had been taken down by the gunfire of the enemy.
But he wasn't thinking on his pod's explosion, but on the names of his lost tripulation. Crewmembers that had been working by his side for months, expecting that he would be able to take them out of any situation that could arise. Hoping, and wishing, that he would bring them safe back home. And not only his, but also the crews of the other two ships lost in the combat. Theirs were smaller ships, but they too had lifes that had to be saved.
All of them were devoted to You... what was their fault? Which was their Sin? Following me against the enemy? No, there was no fault or Sin, was there? They were simply... expendable in Your sight. Like I am. We all are. Simply statistics at most. We offer everything to You, from the highest of our soul, to the lowest of our body, and You consider us nothing but statistics.
He sighed. Slowly, his body convulsing on itself, as tears started to run down his face.
And the worst thing is that I can't hate You. As much as could be appropriate, I can't hate You at all. As much as You may test us, torture us, destroy us... I can't hate You. Why? Why do You deserve such a loyalty that goes beyond any reason? And why do we have to constantly prove it to You? Why can't You simply look into our hearts and know it is true?
But there were no answers in the light of the cathedral, and the embrace of the candles was a cold and silent one.